Broken Innocence
by Born2BAWriter4
Summary: Phoebe Halliwell16 years old, 14 year old Paige, 19 year old Piper and 21 year old Prue. With a young Prue looking after them, and their Grams having died six months ago Phoebe as well as her other sisters have to deal with everyday struggles of teenage and young adult life. From boyfriends and sex to sisters they experience the ordinary and the extraordinary everyday. Maybe magic!
1. Crimson Puddle on the Bathroom Floor

**I do not own charmed! All rights to go those who have created the original work! I am simply a huge fan! Enjoy and please R&R! **

Phoebe is 16

Paige is 14

Piper is 19

Prue is 21

Cole is 17

Glen is 14

Andy is 22

Leo is 19

All four girls live in the manor, Paige included. Prue is the legal guardian of Phoebe and Paige and Grams has died six months ago. Patty is dead and Victor drops in every once in a-while.

**Phoebe's P.O.V.**

_The blood poured from her wound etched into the side of her narrow tummy. Red ragged lines ripped open flesh, in a scar leading to her lower abdomen and upper chest. The pool of blood on the ground was getting larger and larger by the second, her heart hammering in her chest as it tried desperately to keep her broken body alive. "No," Phoebe murmured, helplessly flailing her arms and trying to reach the silver-tipped dagger three feet away. _

"_Say bye-bye, witch!" The demon screamed from behind her, grabbing the dagger and holding it over her shivering body. He raised his arms and as if in slow motion, brought it swinging through the air. Just before it made contact with Phoebe's cold and wet clammy skin, Phoebe felt her stomach drop out from under her and someone's strong hands on her shoulder shaking, shaking…_

"Phoebe!"

My eyes snap open into daylight. I sit up in bed fast, and the blood rushes to my head, pounding on my skull. I groan, push my hands into my eyes and try to get rid of the dizziness crawling over me.

"Phoebe!" Paige screeches again in my ear, just a little too loud. Irritation raises goose-bumps on my arms and I lower my hands to stare at my 14 year old sister.

"_What?" _I exclaim loudly, letting her know I am clearly annoyed.

"You were screaming." Paige looks into her lap. I feel bad instantly.

"How loud?" I ask, bringing my knees up to my chest and hugging myself. I'm still shivering quite violently.

"It woke me up," Paige said. "You're more effective than our alarm Pheebs," she says quietly. I smile back at her weakly before crawling slowly out of bed and shoving my feet into my slippers.

"Sorry 'bout that."

"It's fine. I just want to make sure you are…you know…doing okay."

I look at Paige. Her brown hair falls in front of her gentle face and her eyes leak innocence. I try not to think back to two weeks before when Paige found me…in a state I did not want anyone to find me in. Vulnerable. "Paige…" I start.

"Pheebs, I just keep thinking back to that night. You never answered my question…of if you really were going to do it."

"I…" I start to say and then stop. I sigh, look down at my slippers and wiggle my toes inside. "I'm fine," I tell her finally. She scoffs.

"Really," I say, trying to make my voice strong. "Don't you dare tell Prue or Piper, okay?"

"But…"

"Paigey, you promised."

"Fine."

"Good." I walk towards her and pull her into a tight hug and kiss her forehead. She's almost as tall as me though not quite. She's growing up, starting high school today. And she isn't even worried about it, just me. I wish she would stop.

I look at her and push a stray strand of hair from her forehead…then my face breaks out into a devilish grin. Before she can realize what I'm doing I am out the door and in the bathroom in seconds.

"Hey!" Paige screams after me, pounding on the door. "Not fair Pheebs!"

"It so is!" I yell back. I shake my head, let my curls fall out of the messy bun on the top of my head. Slowly I lift the sleeve of my pajama top up my arm and take a long look at the angry red scars, still looking fresh. Two weeks. Shouldn't they have faded by now?

I sigh, and push my sleeve back down, trying to remember exactly what Ariana had said was so good about putting a razor to my skin.

"_It helps release the pain."_

"_But doesn't it hurt?" I ask my best friend. _

"_No," Ariana says, smiling at me. She places her hands on my shoulders. "Trust me Pheebs, you get used to it." _

"_It that not dangerous?" I ask, nervously. I cling to my wrist tight. _

"_That's what they say but that's a bunch of bull."_

"_But scars…I can't let my sisters find out."_

"_Scars fade."_

"_But how long?"_

"_Two weeks at most I'd say. Just wear long sleeves."_

Long sleeves. Yeah, great idea in early September. I had went home though, and tried it. It hurt at first, but then it was like this huge rush of air and relief flooded my body, flooded me. I could breathe easier again. Gram's death was hazy in my mind, like it had faded a bit. And so I did it again, and again. Then I went to the movies with my boyfriend Cole. But afterwards, not even the good night kiss or the feeling of Cole's hands rubbing up and down my back could stop the pain from seeping into the seams, like poison.

So the middle of the night that fateful night two weeks ago, I took the razor from my bedside table and had crept to the bathroom, soft like so no one would hear me. And stupid me forgot to lock the door and when I saw a shadow fall across my bleeding arm and hear a squeak of the door my heart dropped to the floor. I had flung around, looked into the eyes of my baby sister and had almost burst out crying. I wanted to tell her then and there my pain, what I was going through but then I remembered…I had acted like I was fine.

My sisters were going through so much already and they needed me to be the strong one. So stupid me stood there while Paige took it all in with her wide eyes. Then she sat down next to me and in the light of the moon cried. I sat beside her, dripping onto the pure white floor below and breathing silently.

I was almost asleep when I felt Paigey's soft hand on mine and her little voice in my ear. "Why?"

I hadn't answered.

I didn't know.


	2. Chapter 2-Just Barely Holding On

_**Ending of Chapter One…..**_

_So the middle of the night that fateful night two weeks ago, I took the razor from my bedside table and had crept to the bathroom, soft like so no one would hear me. And stupid me forgot to lock the door and when I saw a shadow fall across my bleeding arm and hear a squeak of the door my heart dropped to the floor. I had flung around, looked into the eyes of my baby sister and had almost burst out crying. I wanted to tell her then and there my pain, what I was going through but then I remembered…I had acted like I was fine. _

_My sisters were going through so much already and they needed me to be the strong one. So stupid me stood there while Paige took it all in with her wide eyes. Then she sat down next to me and in the light of the moon cried. I sat beside her, dripping onto the pure white floor below and breathing silently. _

_I was almost asleep when I felt Paigey's soft hand on mine and her little voice in my ear. "Why?"_

_I hadn't answered. _

_I didn't know. _

**Phoebe's P.O.V**

When I come down the stairs and swing around to the kitchen I see Piper in front of the stove, flipping delicious smelling pancakes. I smile, she knows what to cheer me up with, even if it is the first day of school.

"Hey Pheebs, excited for school?" She asks, a snicker to her voice.

"Just because you aren't in high school doesn't give you the right to mock me!" I glare at her, before plopping myself down at the table. I stare at my empty plate, twirling my hair in my fingers and sighing loudly.

"Come on, you're in grade 11 now, you're a junior…privileges!" Piper wiggles her eyebrows at me and sends me a wink. I flip her the bird and she rolls her eyes and goes back to flipping pancakes.

"Hey people!" Paige shouts from the stairs, clomping down in her combat boots. She spins into the kitchen in an oversized hoodie. I am about to say something when she shoots me a glance.

"Nice outfit, bag lady," I say.

"Right back at you, slut," she scoffs.

"Hey, hey," Piper says, stepping in-between us. "Let's all calm down and eat some fluffy pancakes! Huh?"

"I'd love to Pipe," Paige says, grabbing a bagel from the table. "But Pheebs and I need to leave now, we have to get to school early."

"What!?" I protest, spinning around in my chair and giving my little sister a glare.

"You said you'd show me around, help me find my locker and stuff!" she whines, making her eyes all wide and pleading.

"Give me a sec, kay? Please, let a girl have at least one pancake before being forced back to hell for ten months."

"Is it really that bad?" Paige stops jumping and looks at me with fear in her brown eyes.

"No!" Piper interjects. "As long as you keep up with school work, you'll love it! So much more freedom than middle school. Trust me, Baker High is awesome."

"Says the poster child for an A plus student," I scoff, rolling my eyes. I turn back to Paige. "Nah, it ain't too bad. You, with all your peppiness, would make a good cheerleader."

"I could follow in Prue's footsteps!" Paige practically screeches and runs to me, digging her painted nails into my arm. "You're awesome Pheebs! A genius."

"Who can follow in my footsteps?" Prue asks, stepping into the kitchen. She's dressed fancy, probably some business meeting or something at her office.

"Nothing," I sigh. "Paige just wants to me a mini-you in a cheerleading uniform."

"That's great Paige," Prue smiles, all proud. It makes me want to gag. "What about you Pheebs, joining anything this year?"

"I hear there's a meeting behind the school at lunch for all the druggies," Paige says. "You would probably go, so I'm just giving you a heads up."

I shoot Paige a death glare. _I'll get you later. _She backs up and hides behind Prue.

"You better not, Phoebe," Prue cautions. I roll my eyes, grabbing my backpack from the table and grab Paige by the arm.

"We have to go!" I yell over my shoulder and I practically drag Paige out of the house and onto the road.

"I will KILL you!" I say, pushing Paige so she stumbles onto someone's front lawn. She nudges me and I trip over my feet.

"So, you ditching today?" she asks.

"Maybe," I reply.

"When?"

"None of your business."

"Can I come with?"

"No."

"Phoebe!"

"Shut up, Paige."

I'm not in the mood for Paige's peppiness. She thinks I'm so cool ditching and shit, maybe I am I don't really know. But I know that I don't want Paige to be like me. I don't ditch for fun like my friends. I emotionally can't handle school right now. I can't handle the world. I need Grams, but she isn't here so I am on my own.

And I know who I am ditching lunch with.

Just my razors, my blood, scars and me.


	3. Chapter 3-The Reasons Why

_**Ending of Chapter Two…**_

"_So, you ditching today?" she asks. _

"_Maybe," I reply._

"_When?"_

"_None of your business."_

"_Can I come with?"_

"_No."_

"_Phoebe!"_

"_Shut up, Paige."_

_I'm not in the mood for Paige's peppiness. She thinks I'm so cool ditching and shit, maybe I am I don't really know. But I know that I don't want Paige to be like me. I don't ditch for fun like my friends. I emotionally can't handle school right now. I can't handle the world. I need Grams, but she isn't here so I am on my own. _

_And I know who I am ditching lunch with. _

_Just my razors, my blood, scars and me. _

**Chapter Three**

I am sitting out by the tree at the far end of the school yard, just out of the view of prying eyes from the windows of the classrooms. I lean my head against a tree and feel a single tear run down my cheek. How did it come to this? How did the whole damn world become so unfriendly? I remember a time before this, when my sisters and I were a family, when Prue wasn't a 21 year old with a career. When Piper wasn't working at a restaurant fulltime instead of going to college. When Paige and I could hang out in our room and have movie nights, staying up extra late and raiding the cupboard for midnight snacks. When Grams would cook supper, a huge feast for the four of her granddaughters and we would all sit at the table and talk about old memories of Mom and Dad and then we'd play board games until the wee hours of the morning.

Nothing felt better than that, being with the ones I loved. But it Grams held together the seams in our family quilt and without her we were just a bunch of ragged patchwork, not fitting in anywhere. Paige and I are still close, yeah, but not as close as we used to be, when we were each other's best friends. Now she just seems immature and a suck up. I think she sticks to me the most though because we've always been the closest. Same goes for Piper and Prue. They have always been close, maybe even closer than Paige and I. Piper puts up with Prue's temper and Prue loves Piper a lot. But the thing is, I don't think Prue has to worry about Piper the way she has to worry about Paige and I. Piper's an adult and can handle herself. To Prue, Paige and I are just two out of control, off the handle teenagers who need a parent and not a sister.

It's the other way around. I love Prue, always admired her and looked up to her, she seemed to know everything and she was my world. But when she turned into my parent, things fell apart and all that was left of her when she was around me…and still is…is a stone cold face full of disappointment in who I have become. The drugs, and drinking and sneaking out, I don't do them to be 'badass' or to get a reputation like Prue might think. They just…they help me forget, forget about all the bad in this world. It closes the curtain to reality so I am living in my own little bubble and I can forget.

Piper tries to understand, tries to be the peacemaker. Before she was the one I would always go to with advice, but I don't want to burden her with my problems when she has enough of her own. I know she was devastated about dropping out of college and finding a job and moving back into the manor to help Prue look after us and pay the bills. No one told her to, but that's just Piper, she always puts others before her. Though I don't think she should have given up school. Not for us.

So maybe all this bullshit I have running around my head in crazy circles is the reason I cut that one time in the bathroom, the reason Arianna's 'advice' seemed so appealing to me. And now, as I hold the razor to my arm, beaming in the light of the sun, I hesitate. Is it worth it?

Relief now, but later, when I go home and have to face the harsh reality I now call my life?

But that's later, and right now the pain and the worries and the stress and the deep yearning for Grams that is screaming out in my chest…the cutting will silence that. And for a few seconds of peace, the blood and the scars are worth it.

I take a deep breath, raise the razor above my skin and come down on my arm, slicing through the skin like butter. White hot pain flashes in front of my eyes and then I breathe, sighing deep to myself and I close my eyes, forgetting the day. And I fall asleep, leaning against the tree, my arm oozing bits of pain from my body onto the now speckled grass and the razor tucked safely under my leg, like it was never even there in the first place.


	4. 4: Silent Screams in the Black of Night

_**Ending of Chapter Three….**_

_So maybe all this bullshit I have running around my head in crazy circles is the reason I cut that one time in the bathroom, the reason Arianna's 'advice' seemed so appealing to me. And now, as I hold the razor to my arm, beaming in the light of the sun, I hesitate. Is it worth it?_

_Relief now, but later, when I go home and have to face the harsh reality I now call my life?_

_But that's later, and right now the pain and the worries and the stress and the deep yearning for Grams that is screaming out in my chest…the cutting will silence that. And for a few seconds of peace, the blood and the scars are worth it. _

_I take a deep breath, raise the razor above my skin and come down on my arm, slicing through the skin like butter. White hot pain flashes in front of my eyes and then I breathe, sighing deep to myself and I close my eyes, forgetting the day. And I fall asleep, leaning against the tree, my arm oozing bits of pain from my body onto the now speckled grass and the razor tucked safely under my leg, like it was never even there in the first place. _

**Chapter Four**

When the honey-suckle air reaches my nose and the only sound in my ears are crickets I know instantly something is wrong. My stomach churns like butter and I snap my eyes open. I can only see black.

I am blind.

I freak out, screaming to someone, "Help me! Help me please, I can't see!"

For some reason, in my panic I life my head and catch a glimpse of millions of glowing orbs…my brain fuzzes in and out for a second before it can comprehend what it sees…stars. I sit back down, clutching my chest and trying my best to breathe, to feel the air pass through my lungs and go out again.

_Calm down Pheebs, it's just nighttime. _

Wait. Night-time. What time? I click the power button on my phone and the numbers glare back at me, big and ugly and round like chunks of bulging dirt on a clean white surface.

**11:03pm.**

What. The. Hell.

I could NOT have slept for more than 12 hours straight. Even _I _can't do that! Someone must have drugged me. But, how? I am usually a light sleeper, someone who wakes up from the slightest rustle of noise that pushes the fabric of my sleep.

I grab for my bag beside me and panic when it isn't within my grasp. I grope around for it, blinded by the harsh and pushing darkness. I use the dim light of my phone to illuminate the grass around me. My bag isn't here. Someone was definitely here. I know it. And they stole my bag and probably drugged me…but…but why?

I feel a cold wind on my skin and am confused, it is September, I shouldn't be cold, even at night. When I look down at myself I gasp and almost fall to the grass below me.

My top is ripped open down the front, the band of my skirt slack against my hips…and blood, blood on my stomach, trickling down underneath my skirt. I follow it, trace it…it goes all the way until it reaches my…_ow. Fuck. Ow. _

I bring my hand back up, it is covered in thick blood, streaming down my fingertips. Suddenly, like a flashback a searing pain shoots down my legs and I fall to the ground below, tears rushing hot and fast down my chest.

Why does it hurt there? Why are my clothes torn and ripped?

I bring my clean hand to my face, rub my cheeks and see black mascara clinging to my fingertips in the light of my phone. I fly both hands up to my hair, feel it twisted and tangled. And my throat…my throat feels raw and swollen…from what? Screaming? Crying? Begging? And my tongue is numb and won't move.

My words come out raspy when I try to talk. "He…l..l..o?"

The world is spinning, the blackness swirling together and like huge hands coming to grab at my body, like the faint memory in my mind remembers other hands, rough hands, grabbing, touching, rubbing. But as soon as I zero in on the feeling, the image fleets away, burrows itself further into my foggy head.

I am crying. Hyperventilating. Shaking. Cold.

I am about to fall apart, become broken when my phone screen clicks on, blasting light onto my bare and dirty feet.

My shoes are gone, I realize.

_**Prue Calling, **_the screen reads.

_Shit. Prue._

I answer it, holding the phone in my shaking hands, bumping against my ear.

"PHOEBE MARIE HALLIWELL, WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!" Prue's voice screams into my ear, worms its way into my head and makes my brain scream in pain. "FIRST I GET A CALL FROM THE SCHOOL SAYING YOU WERE NOT THERE TODAY. THEN PAIGE COMES HOME HALF HYSTARICAL THAT YOU DIDN'T MEET HER AND I JUST CALLED THE FUCKING POLICE HOURS AGO. AND NOW YOU DEICDE TO ANSWER YOUR GODDAMN PHONE? YOU ARE DEAD, PHOEBE MARIE, _DEAD."_

I stumble backwards. It's too much all of a sudden. Prue yelling, the strange feeling settling in my stomach. And then the realization hits me like a tidal wave and I drop to my knees, press my hands into my face, letting the phone slip, and let out a ragged, bloody murder, scream.

I collapse in tears, in the fetal position, hugging my knees and pleading with the Gods. I still hear Prue's frantic and pissed off voice in the background. My shaking finger hangs up and I kick the phone away into the dark.

_Nonononononononono, _my mind pleads. _This can't be happening. I'm sixteen. And I was raped. _


	5. 5: Demons in the Dark

_**Ending of Chapter Four…..**_

_I stumble backwards. It's too much all of a sudden. Prue yelling, the strange feeling settling in my stomach. And then the realization hits me like a tidal wave and I drop to my knees, press my hands into my face, letting the phone slip, and let out a ragged, bloody murder, scream. _

_I collapse in tears, in the fetal position, hugging my knees and pleading with the Gods. I still hear Prue's frantic and pissed off voice in the background. My shaking finger hangs up and I kick the phone away into the dark. _

_Nonononononononono, my mind pleads. This can't be happening. I'm sixteen. And I was raped. _

**Chapter Five**

_Fifteen year old Prue Halliwell sits at her chair in her room, trying to concentrate on her math homework when a ten year old Phoebe walks in. _

"_Pwue," Phoebe says quietly, whispering to Prue in her baby voice. Prue rolls her eyes and swivels her chair around. _

"_What, Phoebe?" she asks, arms across her chest, a pen sticking out of her crimson lips. _

"_I had a bad dream. It was scary. A guy was attacking me and I couldn't fight him off."_

_Prue's intense blue eyes instantly soften. "Come here, kiddo." _

_Phoebe runs to Prue's arms and Prue pulls her close, back-hugging her. Phoebe's hands clutch Prue's wrists and she leans her head back against Prue's chest, Prue's chin resting on Phoebe's head. _

"_You know you're safe right?" Prue asks the younger sister, squeezing her tight. Homework is forgotten, annoying little sisters are shoved aside and only concern and protecting are lingering in Prue's mind. _

"_How do you know?" Phoebe juts out her bottom lip and her cream brown eyes fill with fresh and soft tears. _

"_Because I'm here," Prue whispers into Phoebe soft brown hair. "And I'll always protect you."_

The manor looms in front of me, twisting and warping itself into funny dark shadows against the starless night sky. I stagger up the front steps, shaking and clutching at my ripped clothes, trying hard to keep my heart contained in my chest as it lurches each time my legs dip and swing. I try to think of excuses, things I could say to explain my pale face, my ripped clothes, no shoes and the blood. A rough story forms it's way into my mind, but under the scrutiny of Prue Halliwell, ends dripping in lies and plot lines that go nowhere will be noticed immediately.

_I'll act hard-ass. That's what I usually am. That's what Prue will suspect of me. I just won't talk. It'll be like nothing ever even happened. _

Truth be told, the only thing I want to do was get in the bathtub and take a shower, scrub his hands free of me, his dirt on my skin, the way he moaned in my ear…I just want hot water to wash all the hell of this night away.

I approach the front door, wipe away the running mascara and try to calm my sweaty hands. _Act drunk, _I think. _That'll explain my slurred words from my swollen tongue and the shaking. _But what about the blood? _I got in a fight, with one of my friends. _

I turn the knob, and the door opens slowly, with a never-ending creak that wiggles its way into my ears like worms. We never lock the door, so I am not surprised. What does surprise me is Paige's tear-stained face peeking around the door. "Phoebe!" she starts and then when she sees me her worried look turns to horror and terror and an unseen fear in her eyes, which flicker to mine. She gasps. "Phoebe, no." I don't know if she knows, but she knows I'm not drunk, the look on her face, my little sister knows me better than anyone, better than my other sisters, better than myself sometimes.

I close my eyes, open them again and made them rock hard and clear. I need to get on my act, for the wrath of Prue. I can't look vulnerable. I know I have to make this quick, because if I don't than Paige will say something, tell them she saw the fear in my eyes, before I started 'acting.'

Paige is shaking and she steps towards me, takes my hand in her own and hauls me inside, making me trip over my bare and bloody feet. She looks down at my stomach, sees the red soaking through and lets out a tiny cry.

"Paige," I manage to say before a tear slips out. I shut my mouth, struggle to hold them back. But Paige knows. She runs to the living room and grabs a blanket, handing it to me and helping me wrap myself in it just before I hear footsteps on the stairs. Paige nods at me and then instantly turns around and screams.

"Prue! I found Phoebe! Piper!"

The footsteps quicken, and are joined by another, harder pair of footsteps. They stomp on the stairs and echo through the old house. I start shaking again, Paige puts her arm around my shoulders and brings me close, whispering a soft lullaby in my ear. She pulls away a bit when Prue rounds the corner, her blue eyes flashing.

I gulp.

"What. The. Hell?" She spits through gritted teeth. She rounds the landing and comes crashing down to the floor before she's in my face.

"YOU HAVE BEEN ABSENT FOR MORE THAN 12 FUCKING HOURS PHOEBE. WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN? DRINKING? GETTING SMACKED UP WITH YOUR 'FRIENDS?' YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST GET AWAY WITH WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT. WELL THAT ENDS TONIGHT, PHOEBE. I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!"

That familiar feeling of being overwhelmed swoops in on me the second time that evening and I turn away from Prue, stumble to the door and heave. Prue doesn't seem to notice, only goes after me and yanks my arm so I am facing her again. "Where the hell do you think you are going?"

"I needed some fresh air," I say, mumbling slurred words.

"You will not be getting fresh air for a long time."

"You aren't Grams!" I spit, my voice screeching.

_Slap!_

It comes so quick I don't notice it until after it's happened. My neck, swivelled to the side from the force of Prue's hand. The pain on my cheek explodes into my head and I'm tearing up. I can feel the skin stretching, swelling. I slowly turn my head back towards Prue, my breathing laboured. I catch a quick look of regret in her eyes as she stares at her still raised hand, turned red from the force of it hitting my cheek.

My sister has never hit me ever. _Please. I just want to take a shower. _Prue slowly lowers her hand and turns to stare at me. Her blue eyes are pure ice. She is livid. I have never seen her this angry before, you can almost see the steam rising from her twitching nostrils. Paige is backed against the wall, a look of shock on her face. Tears run a path down her cheek, silently. Behind Prue, Piper stands in a frozen stance, a half step from the soft carpet of the landing. There is fear in her eyes.

All instincts in my body tell me to run. It's too much, the rape, the unknowingness of being drugged, my bloody clothes, my sisters' faces and now Prue's slap. A tear slips down my cheek and I know it's only an instant before the floodgates open. I push past Prue, throwing Paige a glance that says _Please I need you _and am half way up the landing before I hear Prue breathe in.

"Don't move, Phoebe," she says, quietly and dangerously. I stop, look back at her. Piper turns from Prue to me, her lip quavering. Paige is still by the door, wringing her hands in anticipation.

"Please," I whisper, letting a thread of defeat in through my voice.

"You aren't going anywhere until you tell me where you were." Prue's voice is quiet, like she's tired, done. Finished. I know she's trying to hide the pain of hitting me with her anger. But it isn't working.

"Prue, let her go. We can talk in the morning." Piper's shaky voice comes suddenly and Paige looks up, hopeful.

"No."

Prue's voice is firm and I slid my eyes down to my feet. I don't know how much longer I can stand this.

"Prue, please, she's tired can't you see that?" Paige pleads.

Silence.

"You hit her," Paige voice is quieter than a whisper. The dam breaks.

"You try being me!" Prue screams, rounding on Paige. "You try being the mom of your younger sisters, one of whom never comes home on time and the other who is following in their footsteps! You try worrying about how you are going to get through the day, what about if we lose the house, the car, what if you are taken away from me? You don't know _anything."_

Furious tears in her eyes, Prue runs out of the room and through the open front door, grabbing her keys from the hall table before making a break for it down the driveway. I hear her open her car door and slam it shut, the sound echoing in the hallway with a resounding bang.

"She didn't mean it, honey," Piper says gently, coming down the stairs. She rests a hand gently on my arm. "It's just been hard, you know."

"Yeah, whatever," I manage to speak before I flee for the stairs and the safety of the shower. I hear Piper's worried voice shout my name and Paige's small footsteps following me. Turning the corner, I run to the bathroom and quickly turn on the water. With the steam filling up the mirror and the room warming, I finally cry, letting my tears mix with the gentle _pitter-patter_ of the water from the showerhead. I rip my clothes off, pushing them into the hamper and step into the shower, letting the water run down my skin, washing all my pain away.

I don't hear the door creak open or the small and gentle breathing of my sister, Paige until she speaks.

"Are you crying?"

I jump, stop my tears and breathe when my brain recognizes it isn't a stranger, just one of my sisters.

"Paige?" I call out, just to be sure.

"Yeah, Pheebs it's me." Her voice is small and she is silent afterwards, like she doesn't know what to say. I stand there, letting the water stream over me.

"Prue's never hit me before," I finally speak.

"I know. It scared me."

"Do you think she hates me?"

"No Pheebs, she loves you. I think sometimes she doesn't know how to show it. But…"

Her voice trails off and I lean towards the shower curtain. "But what Paigey?"

Paige sighs, closes the door and I hear her sit down on the bathroom floor. "I don't know. Just, when you wouldn't come home today, she was different. She just sat at the kitchen table with her hand on the phone looking blankly in front of her. Like she had given up. Like we had already lost you. Like…like you were dead or something. I think she was even crying."

I take in a breath. Prue crying? Because of me? And I thought she never cried. She didn't at Grams funeral, I mean, I think she didn't. Maybe in the privacy of her bedroom, but never in front of us.

"I just thought Prue was a hard-ass bitch," I say, almost laughing. "I mean, since Grams died its like she hates me or something."

"I overheard her talking to Piper tonight. She told her she worries about you Pheebs, with the stuff you've been up to."

"Like what?" I ask, afraid of the answer.

"Lying, breaking curfew, sneaking out, partying, drinking. I mean come on Pheebs, sure you maybe did that stuff before Grams died, but its like, your life now. I mean, we don't even hang out anymore."

Paige's words hit me hard and I lean against the bathroom wall.

"Hey," Paige's face appears around the shower curtain. "Pheebs?"

"I just want to be alone," I gulp and Paige nods sadly, her brown her curling at the ends from the steam of the shower.

"I'll be downstairs."

She seems sad to go, and I'm sad to see her go, but I don't want to say anything, hurt her more than I have. Maybe that's all I'm good for, partying and cutting. I mean, I was raped tonight. My body isn't even mine anymore.

I turn the shower off, listening to the dripping of the water for awhile before stepping out and staring at myself in the mirror. It still hurts bad, down there, and it's bleeding red and hot. I take a towel and wrap it around my shivering body, trying to reclaim bits of me that are still mine. But I don't know what is mine and what has been subjected to fate. It all blends together in a confusing rush.

Slipping into my room I drop my towel and slip on an oversized pajama top. I crawl into bed, bring the covers up over my head, the dark of my room pressing in on me, like there are demons hiding in the shadows. I curl inwards towards my heart, the only thing that is steady within me. Trying to focus on the individual heartbeats, I breathe slowly, tears slipping out of my eyes. My mind slows down, my eyelids droop and the water on my face begins to dry. I am drifting on a soft cloud when I hear the door to my room open and looking in the pale moonlight through one squinted eye I see Prue's figure standing there, watching me.

I pretend I'm asleep, from fear of confronting her again. It's too much to handle. She walks into the room and I snap my eye shut, and listen to the sway of her skirt as she comes closer. Softly, she places a warm hand on my forehead and brushes away a few strands of matted hair. She bends down and kisses my ear softly with her lips before sighing and murmuring something unobtainable by my ears. Slowly she lifts her hand and tippy-toes out. Once she is gone I hear her talking to Paige in the hallway quietly.

I close my eyes, feel her lingering touch and think about the last time she's ever showed me that kind of affection. Even before Grams died it seemed she never wanted to kiss or hug me. And now, tonight when she yelled and slapped me, why do that? Does she actually love me, or is she just too guilty to admit anything? I'm tired and I just want to sleep, but the thoughts poke at my consciousness and keep me awake.

I hear Paige slip in a few minutes later, and she bustles around the room quietly, pulling back the covers to her bed and slipping on her pajamas. Afterwards I hear her pause, sigh and then quietly come over to my bed. I roll over, and stare at my little sister in the moonlight.

She sees the pain in my eyes, knows something is wrong. But can I tell her? She'll want to know why, and I don't know the answer to that question. I don't know anything. If I tell her, she'll tell Prue and Piper and then I'll have to talk about it, and Prue and Piper won't stop until they find the person. They won't forget and that's all I want to do, just forget tonight, the events rippled across my mind like a horror movie stuck on replay.

"Paigey," I croak out and instantly Paige is in bed beside me, her small body pressed against mine, her arms around me. I hide my face in her neck and breathe in the scent of her, something magical. She always smells like Grams used to. She doesn't say anything, just pats my hair softly, whispering the melody of a forgotten lullaby our mother used to sing to us. How she remembers from that long ago, I can only fathom. But it works and I fall asleep in my sister's arms, her voice mixing with the voice of a mother, whose presence has since left the world but is still lingering in my heart.


	6. Silence Hurts

_**Ending of Chapter Five….**_

_I hear Paige slip in a few minutes later, and she bustles around the room quietly, pulling back the covers to her bed and slipping on her pajamas. Afterwards I hear her pause, sigh and then quietly come over to my bed. I roll over, and stare at my little sister in the moonlight. _

_She sees the pain in my eyes, knows something is wrong. But can I tell her? She'll want to know why, and I don't know the answer to that question. I don't know anything. If I tell her, she'll tell Prue and Piper and then I'll have to talk about it, and Prue and Piper won't stop until they find the person. They won't forget and that's all I want to do, just forget tonight, the events rippled across my mind like a horror movie stuck on replay. _

"_Paigey," I croak out and instantly Paige is in bed beside me, her small body pressed against mine, her arms around me. I hide my face in her neck and breathe in the scent of her, something magical. She always smells like Grams used to. She doesn't say anything, just pats my hair softly, whispering the melody of a forgotten lullaby our mother used to sing to us. How she remembers from that long ago, I can only fathom. But it works and I fall asleep in my sister's arms, her voice mixing with the voice of a mother, whose presence has since left the world but is still lingering in my heart. _

**Chapter Six **

That night my dreams are filled with twisted faces, melting lips and eyes drooping onto melting chin and dripping, dripping, dripping…

They go on and on and on and several times I am shaken away by Paige, in bed still beside me. Her body feels cool against my clammy and sweaty skin and she stares at me with wonder in her eyes, silently begging me to tell her what's wrong. But she doesn't ask, she keeps her silence and quietly strokes my hair until the golden sun dawns a new day and slips into our bedroom.

I've never been able to totally let go with anyone else but Paigey, she's my best friend and I can be my worst with her, my most vulnerable. With Prue I feel that if I let my guard down she'll use it against me, she's so hard-headed and I act so hard-headed that we butt heads a lot and things always end up in a fight. I rather be all rebellious and bad-ass than share my feeling with my scary older sister and her ice blue eyes. Piper's so gentle and kind, but the thing is, she's loyal to Prue and I feel like if I told her, she'd tell Prue.

Paige is only two years younger than me, still a teenager, she just knows how much it sucks. She understands me. But something in my body, something screaming out every time I try to open my mouth and speak the words, _I was raped_, repels me to shutting my lips. The silence hurts.

When the light reaches my eye-lids and makes the back of my eye-lids seem like fuzzy yellow dandelions out of focus I force them open and stare bleary-eyed around the room. Paige isn't beside me anymore, the spot where she lay is cold and I trace my hand in the indents of the sheets, wishing she were still here to help calm me down.

I don't want to get up this morning, deal with Prue, deal with the day, go to school. It's all too much. Maybe I can fake sick. Just when I sit up though a feeling forms in my crotch and slithers its way up my body and launches into my throat. Before I know it I'm choking back bile. I jump off the bed and slip into the hallway on shaky legs. The bathroom door is closed and locked so I bang on it, murmuring desperately.

"One minute!" the person behind the door calls out and my heart, in its frantic state sinks when I realizes its Piper. If she sees me throw up she'll think something happen, she'll suspect the worst, that I'm like pregnant or something. I can't hold it in much longer, I bang on the door with a closed fist several times and resort to kicking it with my bare feet when it still doesn't open.

"HOLD ON!" Piper yells, agitated. The door finally swings open and Piper stands there with her hands on her hips, her face furrowed in anger. I breeze by her and am on my knees and wretching into the toilet. It comes up easily, and painfully, leaving a dull burning sensation lingering on my taste-buds. For some reason I don't think breakfast is going to taste very good this morning.

"Pheebs?" Piper gasps and instantly she is at my side, pulling my hair back with an elastic. "Are you sick, honey?" she asks, her voice soft and gentle, the voice she's reserved for when Paige or I get sick.

"I d'know," I murmur, resting my pounding head on the rim of the toilet seat.

"Maybe you shouldn't go to school today," Piper says, wiping my sweaty forehead with her fingertips.

I don't speak.

"Hey Pheebs," Piper's voice gets funny and wavers. "Where were you yesterday?"

I freeze inside. It's too much, all this poking and prodding and surely I'll come loose and spill the whole story. But I can't let that happen. I have to stay silent. _Shhhh. Lips sealed. Throw away the key. _

I imagine a key being thrown out my bedroom window, my lips zipped up tight. I turn slightly to look at her and shrug. She sighs and puts her hand to her forehead. "Prue's still pretty pissed and she said she is going to find out where you were, one way or another."

I look back at my vomit, floating around in chunks. Prue is stubborn. When she sets her mind to something, she makes sure she gets it done. I'm _fucked. _I sit back on my heels and let out a pitiful groan before inquiring, "Where's Paige?"

Before Piper can answer I hear my baby sister's voice high and shrill, echoing from downstairs. "I _already told you! I. Don't. Know." _

"C'm on Paige! I know you guys are close. Hell, you share a room and you've covered for her before, she must have told you!" Prue yells back. Piper raises her eyebrows at me. _Uh-oh _she mouths.

"She didn't okay? She was silent all night long! When I went in there she was already asleep." Paige sounds frustrated and as much as I don't want to face Prue, I'm not going to let her take her wrath out on Paige. My protective instincts kick in and I am off the bathroom floor and at the stair banister in seconds.

Paige is sitting on the couch, hugging her knees and looking a pitiful sight and Prue is standing over her, hand on her hips and her back to me. I can only imagine what her face looks like. Paige looks up and sees me peeking over the top of the banister, and slips me a small smile. I read her eyes. _It's okay, really. _Paigey, always taking the fire for me. But I can't let the guilt eat away at me anymore. This isn't Paige's shit to deal with, it's mine.

"Prue!" I shout, putting on my mask and acting hard-ass and pissed. "Lay off will you?"

Wrong thing to say. Prue spins around and Paige jumps up from the couch and back away.

"_What did you say?"_ Her words are dripping with deadly venom.

"You should be yelling at me, not her," I say, quieter. I look down at my feet.

"Get down here and plant your ass on that couch, Phoebe. You aren't going anywhere today until you tell me where the hell you were last night."

"You mean I can miss school?" I perk up a bit and Paige sends me a wink and a smile. Piper comes down behind me and puts her arm around my shoulders.

"Wouldn't it just be easier if you talked, Pheebs?" she asks gently. And I know its her way of saying she's with Prue on this one and I'm not getting her help.

"I…" I start and then shut up.

"She doesn't want to," Paige pipes up for me. Piper sighs, releases her grip on me and wanders down the stairs to the kitchen.

"Paige, go get ready for school, Glenn called and he said he's come around to pick you up so you two could walk together," Prue tells Paige who reluctantly gets up and walks past me, giving me a reassuring squeeze before heading to our room to get dressed.

"As for you," Prue turns to me and her tone hardens. I think of her last night, her soft and gentle hands on my face. What happened? It must have been a dream, 'cause she obviously hates me. You can tell by the look in her eyes. Prue points to the couch in the living room.

"Sit."

And so I do.

All through the morning, when Glenn comes to pick up Paige, when Piper and Prue have breakfast, when Piper gets up and leaves for work, when Prue runs an errand at the office, while the hours tick by, the shadows move across the walls, time passes by, I sit. I don't move. I sit with my back against the couch, my hand on my knees, staring forward with no expression.

The feelings in my head are so strong, raging to be freed. I want to cry, feel Prue tell me it'll be alright, that she'll protect me. But I can't tell. I can't. I need to be strong. And so I sit and stare into empty air and try to empty my thoughts, numb them, turn down the dial. By late afternoon it's working.

Piper comes home for lunch and cooks something in the kitchen, walking to set the table for her and Prue, who is still doing something quick at her office, she sighs and puts down the plates she is carrying and walks over to me. "Pheebs?" she asks, standing in front of me, with her hands in her pockets. "You want something to eat?"

"Not hungry," I whisper. I look down.

Piper sighs, defeated. "You wanna talk?"

I look at her and fix her with a cold and hard stare. "Pheebs," she says quietly and sits opposite end of me on the couch. "I know you hate Prue right now, and something tells me you aren't fond of me either, but the way you're acting, it isn't helping. I know you hurt Phoebe, and I know somewhere inside of you there's a reason you are doing this. Please honey, talk so we can help you. You don't have to isolate yourself. You don't have to be alone."

"You wouldn't understand, Piper," I say cool, breaking the ice a bit.

"What are we going to do?" Piper mumbles and sighs.

"You know, I wish Grams were here, or Mum. They'd…they would…I don't know…it just seems like they should be here. They would fix this." I am startled by my words and I quickly clamp my hands over my mouth.

"Fix what, Pheebs?" Piper asks curiously, leaning forward and searching my face with her soft and creamy eyes.

But I'm a robot again, silent as stone, still as a statue. There's no making or breaking me.

Prue comes home, says words I don't hear to me, at first gentle and soft and then slowly they become louder and louder until Piper has to drag her away to calm down in the kitchen.

When their voices are low whispers I break from my stance, look down at my shaking hands and feel a tear drip down my face. Words have left my lips, no thoughts in my brain. I concentrate on being numb. I have to stay quiet. No matter how much the silence hurts.


	7. Little Sister Trouble

**Hey guys! It's been awhile, I know. Shun me, I deserve it. But first…you should read this chapter! So, I haven't actually 'talked' to you guys this way before. But I just want to say that it MAKES ME SO HAPPY WHEN YOU FOLLOW AND FAVORITE AND MOST OF ALL REVIEW! I love hearing what you have to think, how I can make it better, maybe even some ideas for the future…I have a rough outline, but if you wanna see something, just tell me! **

**So shoutout to all those who reviewed; hiphopneverdies2013, alisliars, baybcakes and all my 'guest reviews'. Go check these guys out, they are awesome. And please, I get motivated to write more when you review so PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW **

**You guys are awesome as this IS my first fanfic. Anyway I'll shut up now.**

**(I know this is short, but bear with me! I am quite busy this week and my birthday is on Wednesday (yay me! ) so I don't know when I'll be able to write more.)**

_**Ending of Chapter Six…..**_

_Prue comes home, says words I don't hear to me, at first gentle and soft and then slowly they become louder and louder until Piper has to drag her away to calm down in the kitchen._

_When their voices are low whispers I break from my stance, look down at my shaking hands and feel a tear drip down my face. Words have left my lips, no thoughts in my brain. I concentrate on being numb. I have to stay quiet. No matter how much the silence hurts._

**Chapter Seven-Little Sister Trouble**

Night falls over the manor. The moonlight spills onto the living room floor and dances just before the tips of my bare feet. My back aches. My brain has turned to sludge from sitting forever. And down there is still burning with unremembered memories. The fear has been gradually growing in the pit of my stomach as the questions that push against the numb fabric of my mind break free.

_Who was it?_

_Why?_

_Was there more than one?_

_Was I awake?_

_What did they exactly do?_

_Are they coming for me again?_

I can hardly contain myself by the time Paige finally slips in the door. I don't know where she's been all evening and part of me is hurt that she wouldn't come home after school to offer me moral support. She's my only ally, my only friend and I can't cope much longer without telling someone.

Prue has been avoiding the living room, and so has Piper, who scurries around me every now and then sending me looks mixed with frustration, concern and pity. I look away. They don't seem to notice Paige coming home, and I do not even know if they knew where she was in the first place.

"Hey," Paige whispers to me, slowly shutting the door. She tippy-toes into the living room, kicking off her shoes as she goes and sits across from me in the armchair. "Still here, huh?" She looks worried, and she's failing at trying to keep her tone light.

"Where the hell have you been?" I whisper hastily to her. "I could have used some moral support."

I wonder if she can see through my mask of anger.

Paige looks down at her feet and scrunches up her toes. "I uh…I got detention after school, Pheebs."

"What? Why?"

It's rare Paige ever gets detention and if she does, it's usually because she's tagged along with me and my friends, doing some 'against the rules'.

"For fighting."

"What?"

"Calm down, it was just that some of the kids in your grade were taunting Cole about you. I don't know, something was happening and when Cole tried to fight back and they pushed him, Glenn and I decided to get involved."

"Is Cole okay?" I ask, sitting forward. My heart aches and I know I need to see him soon. He'll make all of this go away with one touch.

"He just got a bruised face, it's fine. But it was weird Pheebs, something they said must have pissed him off quite badly. He looked like he was gonna kick their ass, literally."

"That's weird. Cole's the more quiet type."

"Yeah, well whatever it was, it was pretty hot how he defended you." Paige smiles at me, and shoots me a wink. I smile back and sigh. I know I have enemies at school, but what could someone have said that made Cole want to fight them? Great, another thing to worry about.

"Paige?" Prue's strained voice echoes from the upstairs hallway and Paige shoots me a look.

"Time for WWIII," she whispers to me. I brace myself, another Prue confrontation, even if it isn't directed at me, might be too much for me to handle right now.

"Yup, Prue, I'm home!" Paige calls, and you can detect the shaking at the end of her words.

Prue tramps down the stairs with Piper close on her tail.

"Where were you?" she asks.

"Um…" Paige shoots a glance at me and I start to say something when Prue looks at me.

In that instant I feel the worst I have since Grams died. Her glare is so full of hate, it shoots me off balance and I clamp my mouth shut. I am worthless to Prue. Just another burden she has to deal with now that Grams is dead. I bet if she wanted to, she would ship me off to boarding school so she would never have to see me again. Piper wouldn't stop her, she always sides with Prue and Paige would try, but what's Paige against my two older sisters?

The conversation between Prue and Paige blurs in and out as I struggle to keep back strong waves of emotion, accompanied by a waterfall of threatening tears. No matter how many times I blink, they won't go away. Prue's angry, I can make out angry shouts and Paige defending herself, telling some lie that she said something rude to a teacher and that's how she got in trouble.

Loyal Paigey. Even if I haven't told her anything, she still sticks up for me, covers for me. Why the hell did I forget all that and pull away after Grams died? Hell, why am I still doing that?

"That doesn't give you the right to be disrespectful!" Prue's shouting when I zone back in. Piper's standing there with her arms crossed, looking carefully at me.

"I said I was sorry." Paige sounds tired. "It won't happen again."

"Like hell it won't," Prue snaps and shakes her head. "I can't deal with you right now. Go to bed Paige."

"But…"

"Now."

Paige gives me a small glance and I nod at her. She slinks away, her hands in her pockets and her footsteps heavy on the stairs. Prue heaves a huge sigh and then looks down at me again.

"You ready to talk, Pheebs?" she asks, and I look up at her. Her voice sounds like she's pleading. Probably so she can get over with dealing with me. Luckily, I don't break down that easily. I fix her with a stare and will my silence to confirm her question.

"Fine," Prue says, shaking her head. "I guess you are staying down here for the night then. I won't give up on you Phoebe. Sooner or later you are going to have to spill."

"Prue, I don't think…" Piper starts.

"What, Piper? You don't think this is a good idea? Do you think it's too harsh? Then for God's sakes _please_ tell me something else that'll work. Because, besides beating her, which I am _not _going to do," she pauses and closes her hand into a fist and hides it in her pocket, as if the memory of last night is too much for her to handle. For _her _to handle. Ha. "Other than that, there is nothing else I can think of. And so this is what I am doing, okay?"

"Okay, Prue," Piper says. Putting her hands up in surrender she looks at her feet and sighs. "Okay, I understand."

Prue nods curtly and gives me a once over before heading upstairs.

"I'm going to bed too," Piper tells me when Prue it out of earshot. She reaches for a blanket on the armchair. "It's going to be cold tonight, so, you might want this."

"Thanks, Pipe," I whisper. Secretly wishing she would stay down here, let me hug her, and cry into her shoulder. I try to convey this with the look I give her, but she doesn't seem to notice, and if she does, she doesn't say anything.

"Night sweetie."

When Piper's gone upstairs with my other sisters I take a deep breath, and push my palms into my eyes. _Hold on just a bit longer. _I place the blanket Piper had given me gently on the couch and stuff pillows under it. Then, sprinting quietly to the coat closet, I grab my jean jacket, slip on my combat boots and open the door, sprinting into the night, one thought on my mind. _Cole. _


	8. Remembering

**I apologize for it being so long! But I am going to keep updating, hopefully twice a week is going to be my new goal. Been caught up with schoolwork…but without further ado…here is chapter eight! **

**Ending of Chapter Seven….**

_When Piper's gone upstairs with my other sisters I take a deep breath, and push my palms into my eyes. Hold on just a bit longer. I place the blanket Piper had given me gently on the couch and stuff pillows under it. Then, sprinting quietly to the coat closet, I grab my jean jacket, slip on my combat boots and open the door, sprinting into the night, one thought on my mind. Cole. _

**Chapter Eight**

**Paige's P.O.V**

It's silent and dark in my room without my sister. It's almost scary. I know that I'm 14 and well, fourteen year olds should be able to handle things like this, but the fierceness that Phoebe has inside of her, even though it gets her in trouble a lot of the time, it also helps scare the dark and shadows that are creeping along the wall away. It takes me awhile to calm my thoughts and drift into sleep. Just as I am about to though, I hear the door open and slam shut.

_Shit. _I know Phoebe fled to see Cole. And I know it's my fault because I mentioned it to her and I also didn't come home after school today to offer her solace. I lied to her when I said I got a detention. I really didn't. It's true about Cole getting in a fight though, some kids said something mean and I saw his push them. I didn't hear what they said though. I was gonna get involved, but Cole's 17, he can defend himself.

I sigh, turning to face my nightstand and see the picture of Mum on it. She's smiling bright, like she's thinking about something happy and she's holding me as a baby, a two year old Phoebe pressed against her side. Piper and Prue are standing behind her, noses in her hair, holding onto her shoulders with small chubby fingers and smiling. Dad's not in the picture 'cause he's the one that's taking it. But you can tell he's there because at the teeny top of the left hand corner there's a small smudge, Dad's finger. He never quite had the photographer talent that Prue has. He isn't actually the artistic type at all. My heart pains when I think of him. My only living parent, who hasn't come to see us since Grams' funeral six months ago. And even when I do see him, he just doesn't fill the void that Grams used to. I don't know, but I just don't seem to have any connection with him. I'm not like Prue though, who hates him. Because I don't even have any _feelings _for him. Heck, Fred, the dude who picks his nose in my fourth period math glass and flicks his boogers at me has gained more emotions from me than Victor has.

Maybe that's why I lied about getting detention. I didn't. I was with Glenn. I don't know. I just didn't want to go home. I didn't want to have to deal with Prue and Phoebe's rift. I needed to get away to someone who cares about me and my problems. I know Pheebs it's going through hell with Prue basically limiting her to the couch, but it still hurt that she didn't ask about my first day of high school. And that being yesterday, my second day of high school either. I know it isn't a big deal to any of my sisters because they have already been through high school. But it's a big deal to me.

I close my eyes, let my mind wander back to today, which was perfect, for the most part.

_Glenn is sitting by the maple trees planted outside the school. The day is hot and drippy. Perfect for September. Like a last remembrance of summertime. "Hey!" his soft voices float out over the warm breeze. _

_I add a little skip to my step. I know I'm acting flirty and girlish, I'm just happy to be away from the hell going on at home. "Hey, you," I call back. _

_I reach him, and sit down beside him in the grass, feeling the coolness of the blades on my bare legs. _

"_What's going on?" Glenn asks, unzipping his backpack and pulling out a basket. _

"_What's that?" I ask, curious. Glen smiles at, his eyes light up. _

"_A surprise."_

_Underneath the covering of the basket is a soft purple cloth, laden with food. There are two ginger ales, two sandwiches and two slices of cake. "A picnic for my lady?" he asks, faking an English accent. _

_I shove him playfully on his broad shoulders. "You are so lame!" _

"_That's why you love me?" he grins sheepishly, winking at me._

Cheesy huh? Absolutely fairy tale and so cliché. And so unlike me. I know Glen and I were flirting. But it felt good to feel light for once, to just have everything be cheesy and sweet, a happiness without a downfall. Well, I guess there was one when Prue texted me and was wondering where the hell I was and to get my ass back home. Back home. Back home to hell.

But the afternoon slide by so slowly, Glen and I laughing about the most random crap ever and talking about nothing and everything at the same time. It was almost romantic, in a more-than-friends way but we both didn't mind.

Maybe I do like Glen. I don't know. But I do know that I don't want to rush into anything. I want to go with the flow, see where he takes me next. Maybe it will be leaning against his strong arms, his lips coming in from above me for a kiss.

**Phoebe's P.O.V.**

I'm running and I don't know why. It's not like anyone is chasing me. Prue's (hopefully) in bed fast asleep and even if Piper or Paige did hear me slam the door I know they would just let me be. I'm enough of a handful in the daytime, I know for sure they wouldn't want to deal with me at night when they're tired.

I run the black streets of San Francisco, my blood pumping hard through my brains, a feeling itching my finger tips and aching my chest for the need to see Cole. To feel his arms wrapped around me, guiding his way to different parts of me, touching ever so gently, his lips on mine, on my neck, biting down my throat to my chest. Cole and I go far, but he always stops, just before I explode, when the yearning is so big. It's like he's teasing me, having me grow in anticipation for when we finally do it.

My steps falter when I realize that I wanted him to be the first one. That I wanted him first…not some stranger who drugged me and got me in trouble with my sisters.

But I need to tell someone, and maybe he's just the person. But, will he call me impure, then. Not want to infect himself with the memory of someone's brutalness? Do I even want to do it? Maybe it's the only way, to stop all this, to stop the pain flashes, to stop Prue's yelling, Piper's worried face and Paige's empty eyes.

I want him I realize, but not like in the way I wanted him before, where there was a part of him lingering just outside of my touch. I want him…all of him. I just hope after I tell him he still wants all of me too.

**Paige's POV**

I can't sleep. I can't stop thinking about things. About everything really. Mum dying. Grams dying. Dad never coming to see us. Prue yelling. Piper worrying. And Phoebe being…well, Phoebe. I wonder where she is now, if she and Cole are doing it. Pheeb's has told me, contrary to Prue's belief that she's still a virgin, but she wants Cole to be her first and soon. The urgency in her voice, the flutter in her words, it made me smile. When Pheebs is talking about Cole it's like she's her old self again and I get a taste of back to what it was like Before.

But I also know how broken my big sister and best friend is. That night in the bathroom when I caught her cutting, I didn't understand it. Why would she want to hurt herself? She told me later it was to stop the pain. By causing more pain?

But now, maybe just maybe she has a point. I've been eyeing the condemning razor blade for a few days now, even more so with Prue's blood sugar skyrocketing. But something stops me every time. Do I really want to be my older sister? I love her, but I don't look up to her in the same way I used to when I thought she was invincible. In some ways that's a good thing because that means that we can have a more honest and heartfelt relationship, but I hate to see the red and angry slits, still carved into her arm.

I can't take it anymore. My legs feel like they have bugs crawling all over them. I have to get up and move around. I slip out of bed, ever so quietly, averting my gaze from the shadows on the walls and the demons that I sure hide there. I slip out of Pheeb's and mine's room and into the hallway.

The moon's out tonight, glinting on the carpet and making curving patterns with the shadows, like a work of art. The shapes bring on a familiar memory of someone's smoothed fingers sketching on creamy paper. _Mum. _She used to draw for us, flowers dotting our birthday cards or little sketches of the four of us on wrapping paper at Christmas time. It was like getting candy, looking at her drawings. She seldom drew but when she did the pencil in her hands came to life and she moved with the shapes and shades of her pictures. I wish I still had one of her drawings.

I walk to the bathroom and open the door, almost jumping when I make out a hunched shape in the soft moonlight. Piper's on the toilet, her head in her hands. She doesn't move. I don't know if she's noticed me or not.

I walk slowly to her, my feet barely gracing the floor. When I come to her I stand over her, and her back is heaving, her shoulders shaking. She is silently crying. "Pipe?" I ask, using a nickname I haven't in ages, since Grams died at least.

"Piper?" I repeat, putting my hand in the small of her back. She flies out of her hunched position and whirls to her feet, her wide eyes scanning me as if she has to compute my image before placing a name on my face.

"P…" she trails off.

"Paige," I help her out.

"Paige," she breathes. "What are you doing here?" She's wiping her tears as if she doesn't want me to know that she was crying.

"Don't hide from me Piper," I say, panic leaking into the spaces between my words. "Why were you crying?"

"I...I…," Piper sighs and rubs her eyes, looking down at her feet. "Just a lot of stuff going on, you know?"

"I get your drift," I say, cracking a smile and rolling my eyes. "You mean Phoebe and Prue?"

"Yeah," Piper says. "Of course those two are always fighting about something. But something else happened. I don't know Paigey, but Phoebe seems to be really stubborn about this. Usually she'd give in by now."

I pause, wondering if I should say what I am about to say. "When Pheebs came home last night, after she'd had her shower and stuff and gone to bed, I slept with her. She just looked at me and said my name and there was something there, a secret between her teeth that I know she wanted to tell me, but she didn't."

Piper looks at me and chews the bottom half of her lip. "I just wish Prue wouldn't be so hard on her. But she seems so determined not to let Pheebs off the hook this time. I think it's fear or something…"

I nod, completely understanding. I look at Piper, and there's something in her eyes that tells me she isn't done. That this wasn't the reason that she was crying. "It's not just that though, its everything really. I mean, since Grams died we've just…fallen apart. I mean, Prue is so distant now and Phoebe is always out and I'm just worried about you having a normal childhood."

I step forward and place a warm hand on her arm. "What's really bugging you Piper? You are worrying about us, it's okay for you not to have it together too."

"When'd you get so wise Paigey?" Piper cracks a small smile. A tear slides down her cheek. She places her hand on the one I have resting on her arm and squeezes. "I…miss school."

"High school?" I ask, shocked.

"No, university. I can't explain it unless you've been. It's just so freeing there. You know, you find out so much about yourself when you are left on your own, what you are capable of. There I was without…" she pauses. "…responsibilities."

"You were without us," I tell her and she looks guilty. "We are a handful to be around."

"I just feel like I'm the one Grams left in charge of everything. I know technically Prue is in charge of you two, but I know without me things would be falling apart. Hell, I'm here and they are falling apart."

"Maybe you aren't all here…?"

"Yeah, I think I left my heart at college. I just miss it, you know? And Leo's only an hour drive away and I really miss him…"

"You should go back," I interrupt, the idea hitting me like a boulder.

"Wha…"

"Just hear me out. Look Pipe, I know you aren't happy here, and sorry, but it isn't helping us. Maybe if you were separate from us for awhile, doing what you really wanted to be doing, being with your man," I give her a wink. "I think you being happy would make us happier too."

"I can't," Piper says. "I need my job to help Prue out with you two and the house…"

"You can work there," I say. "Find a job in a student café or something. And I'm old enough to start working a bit, and it's about time Pheebs gets a job. We've been relying too much on you. You need to think of yourself."

"But you guys are so important to me."

"And you are to us, and it breaks my heart that you aren't happy."

"Maybe," Piper smiles. "They said when I left I could always come back next year…"

"We are only a few days into the school year!" I say. "You still got loads of time."

"I guess I could get a loan from the bank, get a job there, come home on weekends, see Leo!" She looks excited. I'm glad to help her. "Thanks so much, Paigey," Piper says, grasping onto me tight and kissing my forehead. She starts to walk out of the bathroom before stopping at the door, her hand on the handle. Her head turns to me.

"Are you okay?"

I force on a smile. "Yeah, yeah, just thinking."

"Oh and Paige?"

"Yeah?"

"Keep an eye on Pheebs okay? And if you can, tell me stuff. I want to be able to help her."

"Me too," I smile sadly and she returns the same kind of expression before closing walking out and leaving the door swinging, like a ghost in the moonlight.

**Phoebe's POV**

I get to Cole's house in record time. Seven minutes when it usually takes me twenty. I pick up a rock from him gravel driveway and through it at his window. His face appears behind the curtain in a heartbeat, almost as if he's been waiting for me. I sigh, and close my eyes, a peace already settling within me.

He waves, smiling, and disappears. I hurry to the front door, which he opens a second later and I'm in his arms in an instant. He squeezes me tight, pulling me to his chest, where my hands rest, feeling the sturdiness of him. My fingers itch to grasp at his skin beneath his plaid collared shirt.

"Pheebs," he whispers in my ear, cupping my face in between his hands. He sounds sleepy and his voice slips at the _ssss_. "It's past midnight."

"I needed to see you," I whisper into his shirt, tears hovering below my eyeballs, pooling on the brink of my eye sockets.

"Me too, babe. Haven't seen you at school the past few days. Skipping without me?"

"Cole," I say and my voice breaks. He pulls me in tighter and I cry into him, breathing in his aftershave.

"Rough time?" Cole asks on the outside of my ear, nibbling ever so slightly.

"Yeah," I say back, a shiver running down my spine. I grab at his hands and push them into the curves of my hips. I want him. I don't care if I'm being reckless. I want the world to melt, for everything to go away and have just me and him.

"Shhh," Cole mutters into my cheek. "My parents aren't home, wanna come in?" He lets go, grabs my hands and drags me inside before I can nod.

I am at his heels on the stairs, just itching to get to his bedroom.

As soon as the door closes he grabs me, and pushes his lips to mine furiously. I respond, slipping my tongue into his mouth, exploring. His hands are all over my back and mine grip the flannel of his shirt. I tug. He gets the message.

Still kissing me he rips his shirt off and I can feel him now, his smooth chest beneath my hands, the curves of muscle in his back send my heart singing. And all the time he's kissing, kissing, kissing. He picks me up, I wrap my legs around him and he walks to his bed, lays me down. He's on top of, grabbing at my hair. I feel his excitement press against me through his shorts and my mind shatters.

I flip him over, so I'm on top, pressing, feeling, searching, singing…

"Cole," I gasp, breaking lips mid-kiss and coming up for air. "I…I have to tell you something."

"Me too," he says, pulling me to him and kissing me hard. "But only if you are ready," he mutters against my lips.

"What…" Oh. Sex. He thinks I'm talking about sex. I guess in a way I am. Ironic. I look at him, so eager and willing to please me. I don't want to tell him, not now, I don't want to ruin the moment.

"Ready," I say and he smiles and before I know it he's on top of me and unbuttoning his pants, at the same time as pulling my shirt over my head. I gasp and his lips are on my neck, biting, going down in a neat line to my chest.

_I am so going to have hickies tomorrow._ I don't care.

I let him go farther with his mouth than all the times every before. He comes back up, presses hard on my lips and slips my panties down farther. I grab his shorts and pull.

It happens so fast, clothes are off, I'm bare and he's on top of me, and I feel him for the first time, so real and excited. It causes me to see fireworks. The condom's on before I can blink and then he's inside and I'm flying.

Bliss, pure, beautiful, flashes of light, his hands, on me, my lips pressed against his.

And then a dark part of my memory opens and remembers pain, blood and screaming and those hungry and greedy eyes. _He licks his lips, spit flying. _I scream, pushing Cole off of me. He lands on the floor with a thud and I'm a whirl, pulling on clothes and grabbing my purse and boots.

"What the hell?" Cole hisses at me, pulling up his pants. I pause, looking at him. _I can't do this. Not here. Not now. _

"I'm sorry," I murmur. "I can't."

I fly for the door, run down the hallway and the stairs. I hear Cole's heavy footsteps behind me. "Pheebs! Wait, let's talk!"

I ignore him and bolt from the house.

I'm running. Where? I don't know.

But the thoughts flash in my mind, blurring out the here and now and what I was feeling with Cole.

And as I run through the black streets a terrible thought eats away at my pulsing brain. _I wasn't totally out of it when I was raped. I was partially conscious. And I remember it. _


	9. Revealing the Secret

***waves slowly* hehe, um hi…so yeah it's been forever. PLZ DON'T BE MAD. School had been crazy, with studying for exams and everything but now that's all over! Yay! So I can get on with my goal of updating twice a week! I have not given up on this fic, I have some great ideas! So…ya know the drill…here it is! Enjoy!**

**Ending of Chapter Eight….**

And as I run through the black streets a terrible thought eats away at my pulsing brain. _I wasn't totally out of it when I was raped. I was partially conscious. And I remember it. _

**Chapter Nine**

**Paige's P.O.V**

_This is not working. _I open my eyes, frustrated. It's 3am and I have been lying awake for the past five hours. I know Pheebs went to see Cole and stuff, but you'd think she'd be back by now. _If she disappears again…Prue…frig. _I can't afford to think like that.

I sigh, getting out of bed, pining to leave the room as quickly as I can. It's scary without my sister's soft snores in the bed beside mine. I tippy-toe into the hallway and pause at the table with the pictures on it to the right of the bathroom. The moon's just bright enough to make out the faces and figures in the faded pictures. I press my thumb against one in particular. _Mum. _She has her arms around Grams and they are both smiling big. Victor's in the background with his arms over the two women, a twinkle in his eye that makes me smile sadly. I miss him.

"Where are you?" I whisper into the moonlight. That last time we saw him was six months ago, at Grams' funeral. I still remember how he hastily left, with hardly a goodbye and an unsaid promise of seeing us sometime again soon.

_The service is finally over and I'm lingering in the coat room, waiting for Phoebe to tie up her damn combat boots so we can scoot to the house before everyone arrives. I hear the occasional sniffle from the old ladies crowded around the front of the church, hovering over Grams' coffin as if she's on display. _

_I just want to get out of here. I am about to find Prue or Piper and beg to please leave, when I hear my oldest sister's strong voice ricochet off the walls of the church. "Victor, you can't be serious!" _

"_Prue, they are my daughters too! They are still underage, they need an adult. This is a difficult time for them."_

"_What the hell do I look like? I'm not a teenager anymore you know, I have a job, I have a career! That's a hella of a lot more than what you could say at my age!"_

"_Prue, you are 21, you should be finishing collage, not working full-time at an office. And taking care of your two youngest sisters, it's too much for you."_

"_Don't you dare tell me what I can handle!" Prue screeches. _

"_Shit, Prue," I hear Phoebe mutter under her breath as she comes to stand beside me. She places a hand on my shoulder, pushing me to the door and we both peek out. On the steps of the church Prue is confronting Victor, her hands on her hips, her back to us. Victor looks tired and his broad shoulders droop. _

"_What are they talking about?" I ask Phoebe. She leans in closer, so her mouth is right beside my ear. Her voice wavers as she speaks. _

"_I think they are deciding who we're gonna live with now."_

_I turn to her, horrified. "Wha-,"_

"_Shh!" Phoebe interrupts, holding a finger up to my lips and spins me back around. _

"_Victor-," Prue is saying._

_"I'm 'Dad' Prue, dammit!" Victor yells, his hands flying in the air. _

"_Not to me you aren't," Prue seethes, her words harsh. _

"_Damnit Prue's pissed," Phoebe breathes beside me. I nod in agreement. _

"_I'm taking them home. They are living with ME!" Prue states, firm. _

"_You won't be able to raise them Prue," Victor's voice is quiet. "You aren't strong enough."_

_Prue explodes, she pushes Victor down the steps and he stumbles, looking surprised. "If you want them, you'll have to go through the law. Grams put me in charge of them in her will."_

_Victor pauses, brushes himself off and sighs. "See you in court, Prue." And with that, my father is gone, leaving a steaming, red-eared Prue on the steps._

I sigh, letting my breath out slowly, trying to calm myself down at the memory. Victor never showed up for court, and Prue won full custody of Pheebs and I. Good in some ways, but I just wish he'd at least send a letter. Unshed tears glisten in my eyes and it takes all I have not to let them fall. I can't though, I can't be a baby.

I need to get away from the familiarity of this house; there are too many memories of Grams. But I don't want to leave. _The attic. _It's perfect, it's away from the rest of the house, but if Prue wakes up hollering, I won't be far.

I grab my bathrobe from the bathroom and make my way to the stairs. I'm scared a bit, so I open the flashlight app on my IPhone, illuminating the old wooden and knarled stairs. My hand's hovering over the gleaming golden knob when a flash of a memory wobbles in front of me.

_Don't go into the attic, dear. _

Grams? I swear she said that, at some point. But why? Well, I tell myself. Grams isn't here. I push the door, it slides open easily. Was it always this easy? A faint memory comes to mind, of a little Phoebe and I trying to get upstairs and the door not budging. Huh. Weird.

I step into the attic, the musty smell covering my nostrils. I cough at the thick, dusty air and stumble over to the boxes stacked against the wall. I set my phone down and kneel, looking at the labels. _Books. Photographs. _I pull out the latter and open the books, dust rising as I wrench open the stiff cardboard. An old photo album lays inside. I pick it up, dust it off and open it, my hands gently stroking the pictures under the plastic seal on the page. It shows Mum and Victor, Victor with Prue, Phoebe and Piper, Victor even with Grams, but then there are no pictures of my Mum and it's just my sisters, me finally, and Grams.

I wonder why there aren't any baby pictures of me with Victor. There is one on the day each of my sisters were born, with both my parents smiling at the camera, a baby in-between the happy couple. Come to think of it, as I flip through there are hardly any pictures of me at my birth, or even in my first year of being alive. After Mum died there seem to be more of me, but none with my dad.

_Did he even love me? _

I'm about to flip open another album when my phone buzzes. I grab it, and open up a new message. My heart hammers when I realize it's from Phoebe. I tap it and quickly read it. My heart drops to the floor.

_**I can't take it anymore. **_

I quickly stand up, my fingers flying over the keyboard.

_**Where r u? what do u mean? Pheebs, plz…txt back now!**_

I hold my breath, clutching the phone in my trembling hands, staring at my sister's last text. What the hell happened? What the hell does she mean? When she doesn't text me I make a split decision.

_**Pheebs please. I can't lose you too.**_

If she doesn't text me back within the next ten seconds, I'm getting Prue. No matter how pissed she'll be. I'm about to make a dash for Prue's room when my phone buzzes and a new message from my sister pops up at the bottom of the screen.

_**Meet me in the park?**_

I text back quickly.

_**Okay. Be there in 5. Don't do anything stupid.**_

I breathe a sigh of relief and fly down the attic stairs, slamming the door accidently on my way down. I cringe at the loud echo, praying to god Prue's sleeping deeply. When nothing responds, I run to my room, pull on a hoodie and pajama pants, pull on my sneakers, grab my purse and run down the stairs. I run into the kitchen and scribble a note, just in case.

_Went to meet Pheebs. She was out and needed me. I have my cell. Be back soon. Please don't be mad. _

_Love,_

_Paige xxx_

Slapping the note to the front door with tape I open it, slip into the cold September night and shut it tightly behind me before taking off into the dark streets of San Francisco in search of my sister.

**Phoebe's P.O.V**

I pace back and forth in the park, my hands clasped tightly behind my back. My face is red, my eyes are swollen and I'm shaken, trying to get the memory of dirty fingernails digging into my wrists, hot breath on my ear and shattering screams out of my head. It's pure torture, the sense of a memory I can't quite grasp.

I don't know everything that's happened, but there's definitely something there, hiding behind the curtain and just waiting to reel it's ugly head. I need Paige here. Now. _Fuck, where is she?_

"Phoebe!" I hear a harsh and frantic call and whip my head around. A small figure is stumbling forward in the dark.

"Paige?" I call out nervously.

"Pheebs?"

I can see her now, her scared face, tear-stained and streaked red. She looks odd, a sweater over her PJ pants and sneakers on her feet.

She runs into me full speed and clutches at me, burying her face in my shoulder. I hold onto her, pressing her against me. "Shhhhh," I say, on the verge of tears myself. "Paigey, I'm right here."

"I thought you we…wer…were goi…going to…" She trails off, pulls back from me and I wipe away her tears with my finger.

I shush her. "Nononono," I say, even though I'm not so sure. I pull her back, crush her against me and breathe in her scent.

"Don't lie to me," Paige whispers breathless.

"I don't know what I was going to do," I mumble, pulling away and looking down. Paige stands in front of me and I can sense her fear. I can't look her in the eye.

"Pheebs, if you left me, if you even _think_ about doing it…I…I don't know what I would d…do wi..without…" she's crying again, burying her face in her hands as if she is ashamed to show her tears.

"I know that," I say, my voice cracking and I cup her chin in my fingers and make her look at me. "I just forgot."

"What's going-,"

"Paigey," I interrupt. Paige stops talking, she grabs my shoulders and shakes me, not too gently either.

"Phoebe. What is wrong? What happened. Tell me, please. Please don't shut me out, please." Paige's bright eyes are pleading with me now and my heart hurts thinking about the pain I've been causing her.

"I'm sorry I'm not the big sister you thought I was…since…since Grams died," I say through another batch of tears. _Damn it, stop crying you fucking baby._

"We've all had a hard time since Grams died, okay?" Paige says sternly. "But I know that's not it. What happened tonight Pheebs, with Cole?"

"I…we…we did it…"

Paige lets out a squeal, the seriousness of the moment forgotten. "You freaking got _laid?"_

"Yeah…well…no…Paige, it wasn't like that."

"Talk."

"It was different. I didn't want to… No!" I quickly say, when I see Paige's face. "I mean, we both agreed to. He didn't force me, but I just wasn't feeling it. At first I was…and it was…_amazing." _My mind slows down when I focus on the memory of his hands, his gentle arcs above me, the feeling in my stomach…better than butterflies. Paige grins, she's happy for me. "Then I…then I remembered something an…and I got scared so I…I pushed him off of me and left."

"And then you texted me, right?" Paige asks, waving her phone.

"Yeah, I ran here. I don't know what's wrong with me Paige. I mean, one moment I was so…_into it _and the next…I saw…I sa…"

"What did you see?" Paige whispers, looking at me with concern faded into her eyes.

I suck in a deep breath. _He licks his lips, spit flying. _

"Pheebs!" Paige snaps me out of my trance. "You with me?"

"Yeah." My voice breaks off at the end. _Damn it. Please let Paige not notice, please. _

"Phoebe." Paige sounds hurt, she knows I'm hiding something and I know I'm going to have to tell her.

"I don't…" I start and then I'm gone. It's too much, tonight with Cole, _that night_, Prue, Paige's face. God. Why the hell did this happen? Why is it such a big deal? Why can't I forget it?

I slump to my knees and bury my face into my jeans, the denim already soaked with salt and snot. Paige kneels beside me, places a small hand on my knee and waits for me to catch my breath.

"Phoebe, I know you won't tell Prue or Piper, but please tell me. _Please." _

"That day, when I didn't come home from school?" I look at Paige and she settles in on the ground beside me, pulls me to her and I rest my head on her shoulder. She strokes my hair softly.

"Yeah?" She's waiting.

I take a deep breath. "Yeah, well I didn't come home because I skipped to cut."

"Phoebe," Paige interrupt, gasping. "You promised you wouldn't." She sounds hurt.

"Jus…just let me continue, okay?"

I feel her head move back and forth and I stare out into the trees and continue on. "So I did, and I fell asleep. Honest, I thought it would only be for an hour or so…but then I woke up…an…and it…"

"It what?" Paige prompts gently.

"It was dark."

"You…you fell asleep all day?" Paige's voice is funny. She knows something's not right.

"I didn't know when I woke up, I thought I was blind. Then I looked at my phone and realized it was eleven pm and Prue had called…I was so scared. I had no clue what had happened and then…then I looked down and sa…saw…" I catch my breath on a sob that pushes from the back of my throat. A whimper escapes my lips when I remember the next chain of events. Paige's hold on me tightens. She's trying to make me feel safe. She doesn't say anything, just waits for me to start speaking again.

"My clothes were torn and bloody…I…I didn't have my shoes. Had I been attacked, or robbed? Then…then I felt pain…down there and I knew."

Paige stops stroking my hair. "Knew what?" She whispers so quietly, I just catch the flutter of her words.

"Paigey," I start to tremble. "I was…r…raped."

A sob escaped Paige's throat and that sets me off too. "Oh Pheebs," she says. She's at a loss for words, so am I. I know and she knows words won't make it better. But what will? I start to tremble, shaking all over.

"I didn't want…didn't want Prue or Piper to know…they'd make a big deal…an…and I jus…just wanna forget…but I ca…can't. And at Cole's I rem…remembered a bit…and…"

"Shhhh," Paige whispers, trying to be brave. She pulls my head to her shoulder and clutches me tight, rocking the both of us. My trembling slows a bit, but I can't stop the tears. They fall off my face and onto the cold and hard ground below.

I'm broken, broken and I don't know how to find the pieces, let alone glue them back together. And I know that my sisters can't protect me this time, it already happened and they are still out there. I'm alone on this one, and if he comes back…for me…for Paige…

"I got you," Paige coos into my hair. She pulls me closer.

"It's okay, I got you."

**Not my longest chapter, I know. *sighs* But I hope you still enjoyed! What's going to happen now? Hmmm, leave me your thoughts, they mean so much to me and hopefully see you again, I shall be back in a few days bearing a new chapter! (and if I could; cookies) **

**-Gracey xxx**


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